The Totty Pages: Brothers & Sisters

If you don't understand how one could both love their siblings so dearly and want to wring their neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child.

This was taken on Easter of 2010. From left to right. Sophia(my niece), Jessica, Me, Tara, BJ, Heath, Chelsea.

I remember one time at the age of 13 sitting in the floor of my bedroom, my back against the foot of my bed while my two sisters Jessica 14 and Tara 11 sat on top at the edge of the bed with their socked feet dangling on each side of me. Tara and I were battling it out on Super Mario Kart. She popped my last balloon with a turtle shell and I lost the game. I was infuriated I had lost to her and before I knew it, I reached over and grabbed the first foot I saw dangling next to me and I bit it with every ounce of strength I had in me! Except....I bit the wrong foot. It was Jessica's. Tara laughed hysterically and Jessica screamed in agony. I still feel horrible about the mix-up.

My mom and dad divorced when I was 10 years old. They both eventually remarried, my mom did within the next year and dad much later in my life. She married Huff & Puff who had three kids of his own -Jessica, Heath, and BJ. That year Tara and I gained 1 sister and 2 brothers. A few years later Mom and Huff & Puff found out they had a surprise on the way- a baby girl named Chelsea. Growing up with eight people in a house was complete chaos. The six of us children were constantly "calling" things. "I call shotgun! I call first shower! I call tables & counters for chores after dinner!" We locked each other out of our rooms, dumped countless pitchers of ice water on whoever was in the shower. We still do, given the opportunity.

Being that the first 3 eldest children were all girls, we would gang up on my two younger brothers all the time. We made fun of them, were mean to them, and would never let them play with us, but they had their own retaliation on us. We had to babysit them quite often in the afternoons until our parents came home and they acted as little devil children! My sisters and I would setup the 1980's video recorder and hide it to catch their behavior on camera to show to our parents. We also used the same 1980's video camera to make movies, talkshows and dance videos together that are currently on VHS tapes which we now use as blackmail.

We were all 2 to a room. Jessica and I shared a room. I would keep her up late frequently rearranging our bedroom and "refurbishing" some of our furniture. One day while our parents were gone, we took our dresser out in the backyard and spray painted the drawers with chalkboard spray paint and took the knobs off and painted them with silver glittery nail polish. It was the coolest dresser ever! Until mom came home....

Tara and I have had countless throwdown fights since the time she could start walking. One time at the age of 13, I was making a sandwich in the kitchen and Tara 11 reached in the drawer and pulled out a meat poker from the grill and jabbed it into my left butt cheek and yelled, "Pork's done!" and ran off laughing hysterically with the porker in hand to the other side of house. I in turn pulled a butcher knife out on her and told her if she ever did that again I swore I'd kill her. Once, I kicked her in the hand and jammed her finger, which resulted in her going to the emergency room. I've slung her by her shirt collar so hard into the refridgerator, it left a dent. I've even put her head through a wall. Okay, that was an accident. We turned the stairs in the house into a slide with couch cushions. I was anxious for my turn so I gave her a little shove on hers. Her head went straight the the drywall. I know what you're thinking right now, and you shouldn't feel sorry for her. She has punched me right square in the face before. My arms and hands are filled with little battle scars to this day because of her constant scratching and clawing. She was always a wonderful actress Drama Queen when we would get in trouble. She played the victim well. I could be bleeding from my shoulders down but yet mom would still give me the tongue lashing and beating. While my mom's back was turned, Tara would stick her tongue out at me and snicker and laugh under her breath.

When my mom told me she was pregnant with Chelsea, I remember I cried like a baby. I told my mom we just learned how to deal with seven people in the house and we didn't have room for anyone else. I told her I just couldn't handle one more person. Little did I know I would fall in love with this little baby sister. She was so sweet and adorable. She was so much fun to play with and she loved her "Toya". That's me. Most of all that is still very true. She is more beautiful every time I see her and she still loves her "Toya" but the sweet part - that's in question being that she is now in full blown teenage girl mode. Hormones like a roller coaster, cellphone pics everyday for Facebook taken in the bathroom mirror, always worried about how she looks or her swag level as she would say, and of course she's up on the "hippest" slang. She called me 'Cray. Cray' the other day. Apparently it means the samething as crazy? I don't know...

None of my siblings are known for their fantastic driving skills. Anyone who has had the pleasure of riding with any of us, knows this is true. Jessica, Tara, and I have all been in wrecks together. One summer night I was driving down Manchester Hwy about to turn on to Dilton Mankin which is a road up a small hill. Tara was with me. She was yelling and hanging out the passenger window acting like her usual nutty self. I looked over and told her to get back in the window not realizing I had passed the road I was supposed to turn on by 5 feet. I went to turn on what I thought was the road but saw my headlights shining bright a big yellow house! Instead of hitting the breaks, I hit the gas flooring it up the hill in the front yard and somehow managed to find my way back onto the road. I still to this day have no idea how I did that without hitting the house or the cars in the driveway. Once we were back on the road,we were both scared silent for a few seconds. Then, we looked at each other and laughed so hard until we both peed in our pants! Yeah, we did. The next day when I drove past the scene, I saw all the tire marks in the front yard up the hill along with all the yardsale signs that were mowed down.

Another time Jessica and I were on our way to school already running late. She was driving. I was in the backseat and another friend of ours was asleep in the front. I asked Jessica to change the radio station and not seeing that the car infront of her had stopped, she rearended a Buick. Not only was it a Buick, but it was an undercover cop car. She rearended a State Trooper. Oops!

My youngest brother Heath who is now 16 just started driving less than 2 months ago and he has already ran his car in a ditch twice. It makes me sick to think about him or Chelsea driving.

I haven't seen my brothers and sisters since I surprised them this past Christmas. In ten days they are taking a trip together and will all be here in New York with me! I cannot wait to see them, to hug them, to laugh with them, to fight with them.

We know how to push each others' buttons like no one else can. We've beat each other up to a bloody pulp, but the first to defend when outsiders attack. We've borrowed without asking, broken and ruined things. We interfere, criticize, and are always ready to deliver a snide remark to one another. We know each others strengths and weaknesses. We share our family inside jokes, our family fueds and secrets. Our family griefs and joys. We are brothers & sisters and I love them dearly.